The adoption process is long and lonely. It can at times be overwhelming and very, very frustrating. This month marks the second year since God spoke to us to adopt. It is a two year period marked by the ups and downs of life. I lost my mom last year. I graduated with a Masters Degree last year. These are examples of each. This process has taught us a lot about God and His timing. Can I be honest and just say, some days God's timing really stinks! This is why He is God and I am not.
Patience and the process that requires it can be very taxing. Some days you wake up hurting. It's not a physical hurt as when you break a toe or something, rather it is an emotional hurt. Not depression or something that severe, but a constant aching in your soul that reminds you that a part of you is waiting on the other side of the world. Some days are better than others. Circumstances of life that are tough seem to bring it out more (Read my last blog titled "The Shadow Within".) Today I am missing my mom as she passed away 11 months ago, almost at this very hour. It seems that when other things pull on our emotions the longing to see the adoption completed, or in our case just to hear that we can adopt, becomes urgent.
We hurt through this process as we think of a beautiful little girl getting ready for bed as we are preparing for our day. She knows nothing of a mom and a dad that have been waiting for two years to meet her and love her. The fact is that some days this just hurts to think about. Perhaps God in is infinite wisdom allows this. Perhaps this is His way of preparing us to deal with the hurts of a little six year old girl that we so long to hold and love as our own. We have been waiting for two years. She has been waiting for six year wondering when and if someone will ever love her. She was abandoned and left for someone else to care for. She has seen many other kids come and go from her home. All the while she is waiting and hurting.
God, may the hurt that we have in the waiting prepare us to love her more than we ever thought we could!